


she's always a woman to me

by chellian



Series: Aid-verse [5]
Category: Geography (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: (implications of eiji being ace but not enough to warrant a title), Angst, Arachnophobia, F/M, Falling In Love, Giant Spiders, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Spiders, alternate title: japan simps for a literal spider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29344461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chellian/pseuds/chellian
Summary: Out of the corner of his eye, a newcomer enters the scenery, staring down at his reflection.And on her hands—“Is that my axe?”“It sure is”, she says. Gods, he is sure he has fallen even harder for her. “You dropped this.”He frowns, looking up. “Excuse me, but how did you retrieve my—”Eiji blinks; the young woman that he had seen a few seconds before is now nowhere to be found.-There's something behind the Joren Falls.or: The Tale of the Woodcutter and the Jorogumo (spider-woman) but it's Ameripan
Relationships: Japan/United States (Anthropomorphic)
Series: Aid-verse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577644
Kudos: 2





	she's always a woman to me

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentines Day to all of you loners reading ch fanfics! i got this idea like,,, a month ago when I was watching Overly Sarcastic Productions' Jorogumo video and then I was like... "hey this could be a good idea"  
> this was originally supposed to be a multi-chapter, but then i had a big brain moment and realize i could've turned this to a one-shot so yeah, one-shot  
> hope you enjoy lol

A young man walks into the deepest depths of the forest surrounding the Joren Waterfalls, completely exhausted after a day of working. He needs to lie down and rest, away from the laughter of the children playing their games, the latest gossip the women have uttered out of their lips, the small talk of men working in the fields or cutting for wood in the forest, and even the elders talking about their superstitions of old. His tired heart aches to rest before coming back to the fields to work, his legs burning in exhaustion as the sun sends down its merciless rays upon him.

He hears the sound of the rushing water, and he takes a deep breath at the beautiful sight before him; the Joren Falls, its water sparkling underneath the sun’s eyes, the trees bending to the wind’s will. He smells the scent of nature from around him— the flowers, the wood, the water from the basin.

With a sigh, he lies down in the shade of the tree, tipping his straw hat to block his face from the light of the sun. He closes his eyes, and lets sleep take over him, his fatigue easily slipping him into the world of dreams, relying for the Baku to eat up his nightmares.

He is not aware of multiple green eyes staring at him in her own cave with grave interest, her hunger kicking in.

The young man’s consciousness reappears when he feels _something_ sticking on his foot. Groggily looking at the tip of his foot, he finds a strange spider web that has definitely not been there before. He shrugs, thinking that it is some addled spider who thought he was a tree himself, before attaching the web to the tree he is leaning in, closing his eyes again.

Then he feels himself go backwards, hearing a _CRACK_ from behind him.

Instantly, he is on his feet, comprehending what had just happened; much to his shock, the tree that he had once been leaning on — a sturdy and large tree, for the matter — has been uprooted.

Panicked, he follows his gaze to where the tree had gone, and finds multiple green eyes staring at him in the cave behind the Joren Waterfalls. The beast — yokai — lets out a hideous laugh, frustrated at the fact that she does not have a meal for the day.

The man lets out a cry of alarm, running away from the Joren Waterfalls as fast as he can.

When he gets to his small yet busy village, he has a haunted look on his face, pointing to the forest, shouting, “Jorogumo! There is a Jorogumo lurking behind the falls!”

The next day, people put up signs near the Joren Falls, signalling villagers to turn back, lest they be devoured by the hideous spider yokai lurking beneath the falls’ deceptive beauty. It is all that the villagers gossiped about after this incident, their news and gossip falling into attentive ears, who listen to the story of a yokai who would not hesitate to devour a single man once they are caught in her spider webs. Of course, all stories will not go on forever, and this gossip comes to a close after they have witnessed an event even more extravagant than the yokai near their vicinity.

* * *

Years after the incident, a man travels to the village, only carrying clothing and his axe in his arms. He greets everyone he meets with a slight bow, respectful of the people around him, asking if there is an inn which he could stay for a few nights. They point to the same direction, and he follows their fingers whilst humming a lullaby. The only reason he is here in such a remote village, away from everything he has ever known about was to get away from his cruel and manipulative brother.

He is not a prince anymore— he is just a lowly commoner, a woodcutter who manages to stumble onto a village full of kind people.

There will be no more nightmares and cruel words embedded on his skull now; it is time for him to carve a peaceful and quiet life, away from the politics and the drama back in the castle.

He offers a few coins to the innkeeper, who studies them closely before chuckling. “What can I get you, dear?”

“I’d like a room please; I am only staying here for a few days until I find a place to settle near here permanently.”

“Of course sweetie, you may as well take your time staying in my inn. What’s your name?”

He gives the innkeeper a small smile, “Imari Eiji.”

He is now Imari Eiji, a man who is not running from his brother, a man who has no past, a man who was not born and created from the pain that his family had inflicted on their own terms. It is a name that he had crafted on his own, a choice that _he_ made all by himself. No more is he the youngest son of the Emperor of Japan— he is just a young man living life to the fullest, settling here to have a happy life that he was deprived of when he had been young.

There will be no going back now, his pride for his family now reduced to ashes and thrown to the rivers to be forgotten.

* * *

Despite his quiet and secretive nature, keeping to himself most of the time when he decides to walk around the village, he attracts the attention of the villagers — especially the children, for some reason; he does not even know how to interact with them — staring at him with eyes full of fascination. Because of this, he rarely even makes eye contact or shrinks away from their attention, always coming back to his room in the inn after making sure he has enough food to last for the whole week.

He feels quite uncomfortable in their presence, comparing their watchful eyes to his older brother who will forever restrict his movements to grow.

(His voice still echoes in his mind, whenever his mind is blank and he is not occupied with something.)

Whatever, it is not as straining as those monitoring eyes that his brother has, glaring at him in a strict manner, who would always belittle his achievements and punish him for his accidental wrongdoings. Maybe he should start his new life’s profession now; being a woodcutter.

He swings his axe onto the tree’s trunk. A hard _thump_ sounds out, and his body vibrates a little. Sucking in a breath, beads of sweat dripping from his forehead, he tries to pull his axe free from the trunk— yet the blade does not budge from its place. Panting hard, he inhales, trying to pull it free. It doesn’t budge, not even when he has used all of his strength to remove the blade of his axe from the tree.

“Are you new to being a lumberjack, or do you just lack the strength to pull your axe free from the tree?”

He turns to a young man smiling sincerely at him— not like the cryptic and condescending smirks his brother gave him, mocking his achievements.

Eiji nods a little, his hair covering most of his face before parting it from his vision to look at the man properly. He blushes, embarrassed; he has underestimated this job. He is much more suited to academic studies and practicing his literacy than physical strength. It has backfired on him in the worst way possible. “Well, yes. It seems that the bark of this tree loves the blade of my axe.”

The young man laughs, and it doesn’t sound like his brother’s dry chuckles, ridiculing the work he has done for the day. “Do you need any assistance?”

He shakes his head, “I am struggling, but I will be fine— it appears to be loosening its grip on the poor trunk of the tree, and I am sure with just a few more tries, it will come right off.”

The young man shrugs, “You can always ask the people in this village for help; we may only be a few hundred people, but we treat all of our guests with kindness.”

Eiji gives him a soft smile. “I will remember that.”

* * *

And he does; in the following months, a kindhearted family agrees to take him in, giving him food and a home in exchange of helping the mother with her household chores, assisting their young child with her kanji, and provides succor to the husband, who helps him get used to cutting wood, the tree falling down with a mighty tump in front of him. He smiles serenely, now having the strength and willpower to rival the hefty trunks of trees.

Eiji Imari is not a helpless prince born into a family full of hapless circumstances— he is his _own_ person now, making his _own_ choices.

Everyone in this small village is delightful to be around with, unlike the court full of fraudulent courtesans. Their smiles were kind, their eyes were sincere, their tone of voices possessing no ill will towards him— they calmly and maturely point out his wrongdoings, and teach him how to do things properly with no ridicule in their tone.

However, traveling to this remote village does not quell the nightmares in his head, of his brother opening him up and dissecting every part of his body, laughing at his errors as he does it. He remembers those fingers yanking on his hair, the nails digging in the skin of his body, his dry and dismissing laughs. However, even now, Eiji feels guilty about running away from everyone he has ever known just to escape his beloved brother trying to discipline him.

(No, he was not disciplining him; he was _abusing_ him, and — according to Haru — that is never alright.)

Sometimes he would stare outside of the windows rather than sleeping; the castle is so far away from him now, but the echoes of his memories still linger in his mind, still in his reach.

Eiji, being the apathetic man he is, forces his emotions down into a small kettle of unrequited feelings, knowing that one day, it will boil over. But this way, whenever he reminisces the times when his mother plays with his hair or gives him a hug, he would not discern the way his heart flutters, the reason why he had used to smile around his mother.

Every emotion he is able to feel is now laced with a strong and huge amount of apathy— for his and the others’ sake.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for other people’s feelings, however.

He just chooses to reject everything, reject the entire world who made him like this.

* * *

A year after first settling in this village, his curiosity about what is beyond the canopy of the forest intensifies. After a few months observing and monitoring the people’s actions near the forest, some pray to Buddha for protection; even the most skilled and strong woodcutters are cautious about going deeper into the forest, preferring that the village is in their line of sight at all times.

It is… certainly puzzling, to say the least.

Eiji hasn’t asked them yet; he is trying to find the right time and place. Or maybe it’s because he still fears scorn from his peers around him.

But he finds his opening at dinner, when for the most part the family is quiet, save for the humming and laughing. A few minutes after thanking the mother for the food, Eiji asks them his long-awaited question.

“Is there something beyond the forests of the village?” He asks in a polite and soft-spoken manner.

The eating stops as the family turn to stare at him. He shrinks underneath his gaze, fiddling with his utensils— did he phrase his questions right?

The father speaks first in a cautious tone. “What do you want to know about the Joren Waterfalls?”

“Ah, so the place beyond the forests is the Joren Falls? I have heard that it is a lovely sight.”

“Well, it _used to_ be such a beautiful place”, the mother says, returning to her dinner whilst ushering her daughter to eat her meal.

“What happened?”

“Have you not heard the stories about the Joren Falls? About how it is a cursed place now?”

He blinks, wondering why they look so… afraid. “I’m… not certain that I have.”

“Eiji Imari”, the woman looks back at him with a stern expression. “Will you please promise _us_ that you will not go beyond the limits of the forest around our village to find the Joren Falls?”

“But why is the Joren Falls dangerous?”

“There has been… an abominable being making itself feel at home in the caves behind the falls; it had almost devoured one of our men, and so we sealed off the area with warning signs and wards, hoping that any man who dare set foot in _her_ territory will withdraw from that place immediately.”

Eiji raises a brow, skeptical of the situation. “An.. abominable being? _‘Her’?_ Are you saying that there is a yokai behind the Joren Waterfalls, making her home in its cave?”

The woman grows alarmed, putting her fingers to her lips.

“Do not say those words; names have power, and you will attract the spirits of the yokai to you”, the man lectures.

“You still have not sworn to the promise you ought to keep”, the woman says, “do you promise not to go beyond the forest?”

Eiji blinks in confusion again, before hesitantly nodding. “To honor your hospitality, I promise not to go to the Joren Falls.”

But it is too late to sate his curiosity now— he _wants_ to see the yokai that are supposedly hiding in the waterfalls, ridding the people in this village of leisure.

He’ll just have to sneak out unnoticed by the people around him.

He can do that; he has already gotten used with the thickness and denseness of the forest around him.

* * *

Eiji manages to evade the villagers, saying that he has to go on a morning walk to collect firewood for his family (can he call them that when he had just been living with them for a few months?). He walks to the woods at an eager pace, hoping that the villagers would not deem it as suspicious. He feels guilty betraying his parental figures’ promise, but he wants to know if there is truly a yokai hidden deep in the waterfalls.

He is the cat, and he is about to perish due to his poor choices.

The young man jumps over overgrown roots, dodges low-lying branches with ease (omitting the few times he has tripped or hurt himself because of the hazards in this forest), and when it is too high or low and frustratingly gets in his way, he lets his trusty axe do the work for him. His legs carry him all the way to the edge of the forest, to the Joren Waterfalls that are said to be haunted by a yokai.

After stopping to lean on a tree to catch his breath, he hears the sound of water rushing; regaining his energy, his legs get back to moving again, until he finds the Joren Waterfalls, filling the basin below it with blue, ethereal water.

He stares at the beautiful ecosystem around him, enchanted; how can these surroundings be infiltrated by a yokai?

Everything is beautiful— he is like a fly trapped in a spider’s web, his grey eyes shining.

He wants to stay here forever; it is nothing but paradise, away from the outside world.

He will be able to forget all his hardships and insecurities if he stays in this place, preferably forever.

Eiji takes a step forward, but it leads to a problem— he trips and falls, and the axe that is so firm in his grip slips from his hands like butter and falls into the water basin.

“No!” He says, instantly recovering from his fall, his hands finding the cold waters of the basin; he searches and searches with his bare eyes, trying, and failing, to find the bottom of these translucent waters, where his axe is floating downwards, finding the bottom of the enclosed pool all by itself. He can’t help but feel sad, feel remorseful about a non-living object that has only been with him for a year. “That was… I crafted it all on my own… it is the only perfect thing I had created with my own two hands…!”

He mourns the loss of his first companion, the object that he had brought with him from the palace into the village. He dips his fingers back in the water, and he stares at his reflection at the pool, thinking about how irresponsible he is. He had broken his promise when there was no yokai to be found near the waterfalls.

Out of the corner of his eye, a newcomer enters the scenery, staring down at his reflection. With a gasp, he looks up from his brooding, and finds a young lady sitting next to him in a strange sky blue dress, wearing a sugary smile on her face. Looking at her closely, she has uniquely wavy bright hair, rivalling the light of Amaterasu; her skin sun-kissed, appearing to be soft; dots seemingly rooted into her skin like they were stars creating constellations on it; her lips rosy; and dark green eyes, the colors of the grass and leaves around them.

He has to admit; her beauty is difficult to juxtapose to the other women he has seen in his life. However, like all the other times, he does not feel anything except extreme conjuration to the young woman, no urge to take her to bed nor any despicable thing that his brother does to his past wives. He just feels pure longing, wishing that he could be with someone as captivating as her.

And on her hands—

Eiji blinks, before staring back at her. “Is that my _axe_?”

“It sure is”, she says in a deep, abrasive, but still sugary voice; gods, he is sure he has fallen even harder for her. “You dropped this.”

She hands him back his axe, and he stares at it with wonder; however, he also notices that it is suspiciously dry, as if it had never touched the pool.

He frowns, looking up. “Excuse me, but how did you retrieve my—”

Eiji blinks; the young woman that he had seen a few seconds before is now nowhere to be found, like time had warped back to where it had begun. He presses his lips into a thin line— did he only envisage what has just happened, and the woman he has seen right before his eyes does not exist? Did he ever accidentally drop his axe into the pool like a fool? Why is he here in the first place?

Shivering a little, he rises to his feet, and, taking one last look in the Joren Waterfalls, he returns to the village.

He could have sworn he saw dark green eyes glowing from the crevices of the cave, the water obscuring her malicious smirk.

* * *

Eiji cannot sleep that night; not because he is plagued by nightmares or visions of his life back in the palace, but because his mind is full with images of _her_.

Her, her, _her_. The woman who he has certainly seen in real life, but now his mind is definitely denying her existence.

He had clearly seen her in all her glory— why is it so hard to accept and acknowledge her presence?

It is because perhaps… she is a _yokai_?

He shakes his head at the utter ridiculity of that statement; someone as beautiful as her cannot be the loathsome monster everyone in this village fears, but rather a goddess, or perhaps just a spirit that haunts the Joren Waterfalls.

Nevertheless, she is beautiful, and… and he wants to see her again.

Is he sure that he wants to see her again?

After a few seconds of silence in his mind, the inner voice in his head affirms his question.

His face turns red, staring up at the ceiling.

He’s infatuated with her already.

* * *

“Hello? Are you here? Do you hark back to my name or voice?” He calls as he makes his way into the Joren Falls, his axe — this time — on his back. He sighs to himself, rolling his eyes. This is not going to work. “I have sworn that I saw a woman here, but now I think that I am being delusional.”

“If it comforts you, you’re not being delusional” The sound of her voice makes his heart skip a beat, and after taking a few deep breaths — he did not want to make himself such an ignoramus around her — he turns around to find the woman he has seen yesterday stare back at him with her dark green eyes, a permanent smirk and prideful expression on her face.

Yes, she was indeed special, mainly to his wildly beating heart.

Her looks captivate his heart even more, enrapturing its beats, making them irregular.

He clears his throat, “Y-yes, I wish to speak to you about a grave matter.”

(He didn’t expect her to only reach up to his neck.)

She tilts her head to the side, and a section of her hair falls over to her neck, smiling pleasantly. “I do not think that thanking me for the axe would be counted as a ‘grave matter’.”

“H-How did you know I was about to express my gratitude for salvaging my axe?” He sputters, averting his gaze from the beautiful — and witty — lady in front of him.

“Well, it is obvious from the look on your face”, she replies with a hum, her abrasive tone of voice becoming more and more heard. “And I reclaiming your axe from the recesses of the basin is our sole interaction the day before.”

“T-That is true...” He crosses his arms, still turned away from the young woman. She was beautiful, cunning, testy— his infatuation is slowly turning into like the more he interacts with this strange and out-of-place woman. “Well, if this does not sound common enough, I thank you for retrieving my axe.”

“You are welcome”, she says, her smirk widening.

“I have a query to ask of you.”

“Ask away, as I have no objections.”

“How did you know that I have dropped my axe into the basin? And how did you obtain it in such a short while?”

“What if I tell you that it is a secret?” She asks with a mischievous glint in her eyes; now she is fiddling with his heartstrings.

“A-A secret? What do you mean, my lady?”

“I mean it in the most literal of ways— the way I have saved your axe from eternal doom of rusting at the bottom of the basin will be kept confidential by me, a skeleton in my own closet.”

Eiji chuckles lightly, “You are quite hilarious, my fair lady.”

“I am serious.”

He ceases his laughter. “Ah.”

“But continue laughing, please; it is music to my ears.”

Eiji’s face turns red, flattered. “You mean it?”

“Of course I do, because to me, you are quite… _handsome.”_

“T-Thank you.” He has never been complimented sincerely by a stranger before; all of the villagers mostly give him flattering words and encouragements to boost his morale, and his damn brother’s ‘compliments’ are mostly insults.

His heart feels… _whole_.

“Apologies, but I never did get your name.”

She raises a brow, “I never got yours either, and you do not see me whining about it.”

“Well, I am Imari Eiji. It is nice to formally meet you.” He bows slightly.

The woman stares at him, before shrugging. “My name is Meri.”

He blinks, “Only Meri?”

“Only Meri.”

* * *

He moseys within the boundaries of the Joren Falls once again, letting the wind comb through his hair as he waits for the mystery woman — Meri — to appear out of thin air.

His slumber has not been so peaceful last night; even more so when he managed to converse with Meri for a few minutes then cantering back to the known civilization. He has ignored the way the rhythm of his heart changes when he is with her, but he knows, deep within him, that he aches to create another casual conversation with the woman — as casual as it can be with someone like him — who has saved the deepest parts of his heart from sadness.

_Let’s face it, I am obsessed with the woman,_ he thinks crucially of himself, staring at the flowers he does not recall were there yesterday.

“Oh? Look who has come near the presumed ‘dangerous’ waterfalls again.”

His heart beats as fast as the demons of thunder and lightning play with their drums. His face turning red, he turns to Meri, who has another one of her sweet smiles upon her lips. Her lips are the color of apples, which were once common in the court, now a rarity in this life.

“I came here to see you again, my lady.” He addresses her with a courteous bow.

She lets out a laugh from her throat, and he is doubtless that there are a few thousand butterflies that are stored inside of his stomach fluttering inside of him. “Pray tell, why are you addressing me as ‘my lady’? Do I look or sound like nobility to you?”

Meri is correct, at least; her tone and voice is scrappy and youthful, not mature nor formal as expected of court ladies back at home. She treats him with a casual air around her, an air that he admires readily.

“You are not of nobility, but you deserve being addressed as such.”

“What a fine gentleman you are.” She says with a biting tone.

“You deserve being treated with kindness, if you ask me.”

“Why? We have only known each other for a few days. What is compelling you to keep coming back to this place again and again?”

Eiji fidgets with his axe, averting his gaze with a bashful smile set on his lips. “This is… flabbergasting to say, but I return here everyday to see you again.”

The woman in front of him raises a brow. “I am flattered.”

“I… I am as well, grateful for your presence here.”

“You are a unique and peculiar man, Eiji.”

“Is… is that such a horrible thing to be?”

The light-haired woman smiles, and suddenly the sun is the one talking to him. “I do not think it is. Do you?”

He stares at her, completely enchanted. “Not at all.”

Her dark green eyes glow discreetly whilst she smiles. “Then you do not have to fret about being different from the others.”

His grey eyes glint in inspiration, paying no mind to the way she is staring at him, like she is drinking up the very essence of the young man staring at him.

Only one thought revolves around his head all day; maybe he does like her.

* * *

For the third time this week, he has returned to the Joren Waterfalls he has now deemed as a paradise. He keeps smiling ever since he has come back to the village, too dazed to continue working. Even in the comfort of his dreams, she is still there; smiling brightly and giving him mischievous yet amiable chuckles, her breath so close to his skin he can feel himself tingling. But rather than feel uncomfortable with this kind of contact — like he had felt when faced with the various courtesans offered to him by his father — he feels… special. Loved, even.

For someone who is not interested in bedding a woman, he has drowned too deep in the pools of love.

But who could blame him? Anyone in his shoes would not miss a chance to become interested or enchanted by this strange and mystical woman and spend time with her.

“You have come back again”, that ethereal voice sweeps through the forests, and his heart stills for a second before remembering that it has to beat for Eiji to live. As always, she comes out of nowhere, dressed in those peculiar clothing of hers, but it suits her mysteriousness and beauty. Her appearing out of nowhere is like she bent the rules of the forces of nature just to talk to him, again and again, this cycle never ending. She has a vexatious smile on her face, and a raised brow, just the way he likes her. “Judging from your eagerness, I can tell that you must like talking to me.”

He chuckles nervously, “I- I do.”

“You have a life outside of this forest, do you not? Why can’t you go and make fun with the rest of the villagers whilst you forget me?”

He shakes his head intently, fearful at the prospect of leaving her alone. “It will not be fun without you.”

“You truly are interested in my hand, are you not?”

The young man falters, and he stands straight to stare at Meri. “P-Pardon?”

Meri laughs, sitting down the green grass, near the serene pool of the Joren Falls. She stares at her reflection in the pool, which is not wavering from the strength of the falls’ impact. Eiji sits beside her, staring at their reflections in the water. Embarrassed, Meri averts her gaze from the basin’s blue waters with the color of red covering her cheeks; Eiji thinks that this is the first time he has ever seen the woman before him act this way. “Are you interested in my hand in marriage?”

Now, it is the young man’s turn to blush. “I beg your pardon?!”

She noncommittally shrugs, her face still red. “We have only met for three days, yet you come back here, wanting more and more. You have an ulterior motive, do you not?”

He shakes his head. “N-No, of course not! It is true that we have only met, but I am poor at identifying my own feelings! Especially my feelings for you! But I do not have an ulterior motive— I desire to spend my quality time on you with no remorse.”

“So… you are not interested in taking me to your bed?”

Eiji freezes, and she stares at him in surprise and curiosity.

She tilts her head, “Was that a sensitive query for me to ask?”

“I-I am fine”, he says with a shaky breath. “However, to answer your inquiry about my interest in taking you to my bed, I would… if I have enough riches to give you and your family a dowry — wherever they may be — I am able to ask you for your hand in marriage, and bind us forever. However… I do not think I can satisfy you in bed. My apologies, that is my fault.” He bows his head in guilt, avoiding Meri’s eyes.

He hears the woman shift in her place, before a finger — that is not his— is placed on his chin. Flinching a little, his head is lifted up until his grey eyes, comparable to the clouds in the sky before a thunderstorm, are meeting green eyes, as green as the nature that surrounds two of them. Instead of a disapproving frown on her face, she is giving him a worried one. “It is alright not to be interested in such trivial matters, I would not care less.”

Eiji almost breaks his dam of tears, that had been storing up ever since he was a child. “You would not?”

“Of course not”, she lets go of his chin, and he is disappointed by the warmth disappearing. Meri smirks, “But this _must_ mean that you are interested in marrying me.”

The dark-haired man chuckles. “Perhaps I am, but would you say yes?”

She smiles, “I have already said yes to talking to you, Imari.”

Unbeknownst to Eiji, spiders are creating a web in the water, right before the reflection of them together, staring at each other’s eyes; they completely cover Meri’s reflection with spider webs.

* * *

Eiji can feel the family’s eyes staring at him during dinner, as they eat their meals. He does not comment on it at first, however, feeling extremely hungry for the first time in a while. It is like his stomach is a barren wasteland, with no meal nor water to sate or quench his hunger and thirst. Because of this, he has devoured everything in his plate in a single second.

“Eiji-chan”, his boss’ wife speaks up, looking at him with worried eyes. “You look awfully skinny as of late.”

He raises a brow, staring at his arms and legs— yet he doesn’t feel nor see any difference in his body. “I do not feel nor look skinny.”

“You have been getting skinnier a few days whenever you have occasionally returned from the woods with fewer lumber in your arms than before”, her husband replies with a soft voice. “Have you been bitten by a venomous animal?”

“You need not fret over me”, he replies, getting up from the table with a reassuring smile. “I do not feel like I am poisoned, so I am sure that I have been getting even more fit from chopping down trees to collect their timber. Thank you for the food, it is quite delicious.”

Once he is in his bedroom, he immediately takes a look from his reflection to see whether or not what they are saying is true. Examining his form in the mirror, there are some slight differences; barely noticeable if he has only given himself a single look. His face has become slightly gaunt, his cheekbones becoming visible when it has not been, and the skin on his arms and legs starting to hug his own bones.

It is alarming, to say the least.

But there is no need to fuss over him becoming skinny over the past few days.

(To what extent will he bear his body slowly eating away his fat?)

* * *

Eiji achieves a great milestone a week after getting to know Meri: he had gotten an _embrace_ from the woman. He certainly enjoys it; enjoys the way Meri’s body is pressing on his, her face resting on his shoulders, her dainty and petite little fingers moving across his back like spiders spinning a web to catch their prey. She is so _close_ , yet so far away— he did not want to taint her lips with his own. Not yet, when they are still too distant to be properly courting one another.

The only reason as to why she had hugged someone like him in the first place is that she made a horribly loud noise close to his ears— and he, thinking that it is his brother getting mad at him all over again, started to sob and let out a few declamations of apology before she realizes that she had hurt him rather than entertained the both of them.

“Wish to disclose information to why you were sobbing?” She asks in a noticeably much softer voice, like she is morning dew that resides in the grass, cool and fresh. “It sounds quite personal, so you do not need to tell me everything.”

Eiji inhales, and his nose catches the scent of spider webs and silk in her clothes.

And then he exhales. “It is not a delightful story, so be warned.”

Meri still does not let go of him, which is flustering him even further. “I do not think that all our stories could be entirely happy.”

He inhales.

Then exhales, beginning the tale of his miserable childhood, and how he had gotten here in the first place.

* * *

“I sought to ask”, he says one day, staring at Meri, who is seated in one of the most spider-infested locations in the ecosystem of the Joren Falls, holding a spider on her fingers with a look of awe. “You seem to have a peculiar fixation on spiders. You are aware that they are deadly beings, correct?”

“I pay no mind to their poisonous ways”, she says, never meeting his eyes, only focused on the insects crawling around her. “I have become one with the spiders over the years.”

This is one of the only clues that Meri has outright given him, yet he continues on visiting her, with the same vigor and lovestruck expression in his eyes, whilst she slowly drains all of his energy and leaves him wanting more, the fool unaware that he is becoming weaker everyday.

Love is something that she could play with him, forever and ever.

* * *

Eiji feels light-headed; he’s been feeling like this for the past few days, but never like he can fly as high as the birds in the sky.

The world spins around him, a flurry of bright colors and buildings, like he is in a painting.

And he feels his throat burning, the desire to cough out crimson liquid as bright as the day above him.

Then he feels harsh hands on his shoulders, shaking him over and over again. His dull grey eyes stare at his master, who is giving him a somewhat worried look.

(He does not know if he looks worried or not— everything is a blur.)

“What have you done to yourself?!” He asks, but his voice is muffled, like he is drowning in water. “You are wasting away! What forces of nature did you anger?!”

Eiji smiles, thinking up an image of Meri; her back faced in front of him, her light curls glowing in the sun, her head turned towards him with a small smile upon her lips. It is the clearest image in his head, that is not lost to the confusing world outside.

“She is not a force of nature; she is a woman.” His eyes have become too heavy for him to carry, and before he sees darkness, he sees the wooden floors, having fallen down.

* * *

The next few days is a fog of obscure and bleary images; the family and villagers surrounding him with worry plastered all over their faces, checking to see if he is ill or not (the young man is obviously ill, even the kami from above can notice it), their faces close to his in both a bothersome yet endearing way, offering him proof that people in this no-name town care about his wellbeing. Then there are the spiders approaching him with their tiny feet out of the corner of his eye, weaving silk into his vision. Before he can scream out of alarm, he is brought to his dreams by familiar and soft hands— Meri’s hands.

Except Meri in his dreams is transformed to a horrible monster; her hair floating in the air as if it is made of fragile silk made from spiders, having four pairs of eyes — with one pair being the largest ones — all glowing a sickening color of green, not nurturing anymore. When she opens her mouth, all he can focus on are her fangs, as sharp as a dagger; her hands have devolved into sharp and long stumps, staring at him like a meal, rather than someone whom she loves dearly and is fond of.

(Did she even love him?)

Meri howls; this was not the laugh that he has always loved hearing, knowing that flowers sing to its tune. It is the sound of a predator, about to eat their prey.

And _he_ is the prey.

Before he can speak, spiders devour him, like he is a fly caught in their own web.

* * *

“You are the young man, correct?” The priest asks, inviting himself — without his permission — into Eiji’s room, who is still resting from his collapse a few days ago.

Yes, his collapse was a _few days ago,_ and they refuse to let him go outside of his room, forcing him to lie on his tatami mat for days. His mind urges him to leave, to _get up_ from his damn mat and continue trekking towards the Joren Waterfalls, knowing that Meri is there, humming as she stares at her reflection in the water, waiting for him to visit her. Yet his body cannot move, utterly exhausted for the energy he had exerted over himself, like he is carrying a log behind his back, carrying it up a mountain.

He looks over to the Buddhist priest, scowling. “I know you are a holy and virtuous man, but I need not your help or guidance; I am fine now, so I plead to you to repeat those words of consolation to the others, but not me.”

“She is a woman, correct?” It seems that he has ignored his mindless pleas, going straight to his heart. “The one who has inflicted you with a terrible illness.”

“The love of my life is not responsible for my misfortunes”, he replies, getting up slowly— this time, he has eaten quite enough (yet not enough since his body will vomit out the remains of his food) the past few days, his strength abundant. _“I_ myself am the one responsible for how things have turned out. So I need you not, virtuous priest; I can handle myself.”

“Otoko states that you mysteriously vanish into the woods every morning since a few months ago, and you have been returning to their humble abode once Amaterasu withdraws into the horizon.”

He hesitates, “I will not give in and tell you the truth.”

“Imari Eiji… you are the lost prince, are you not?”

The young man stares up at him in alarm, “H-How did you know about that?”

“Your appearance is familiar to that of the lost prince… except you are more bony than I remember.”

“... Funny.”

He luckily changes the subject, seemingly noticing the way Eiji is toying with his blankets, biting his lips in anxiety, body slightly trembling. “But you met someone beyond the forest, did you not?”

“I do not wish to speak of it.”

“You met a woman, according to your last words before you passed out a few days ago. Is she the one you are having a rendezvous with, the motive as to why you come to the woods everyday despite people warning you of its dangers?”

“They say that the woods are minacious because a yokai is said to be running wild in the Joren Waterfalls; yet I do not see the being.”

The priest stares at him intently. “What is this woman’s name?”

He glares at him. “I am not obligated to tell you anything.”

“You are mentioning her name, over and over again in your sleep, reiterating the way it sounds in your mouth. It starts with an ‘M’, does it not?”

The young man evades eye contact with the priest. “As noble as you are, I do not need your help, thus you can leave me at peace.”

“Are you aware that you have been conversing with the yokai herself?”

Eiji stops, gasping, before turning back to the priest with an intense lour on his face. He grits his teeth, gripping at his blankets tightly. “How _dare_ you insinuate something as repulsive as that?!” He sits properly, back straight, staring at the old man with all of his might. “That woman is one of the most beautiful things I have ever laid my eyes upon, and yes, she is quite abrasive and sarcastic when you meet her— but that is what made me fall in love with that beautiful woman in the first place!” He stands, his legs still shaking due to unuse for days. Eiji glares at the priest, who is still taller than him, but he meets his eyes easily. “But she is _not_ a yokai.”

“You believe what you wish to believe. But the truth is already so obvious that you could taste it.”

“I do not need to see nor hold the truth to know that what you are saying is _false_ ”, he replies nonchalantly, spitting out those words full of venom. “That your assumption is purely a fallacy.”

“Then show her to me, and we will see who is wrong.”

He narrows his eyes at the priest. “Forgive me for my choice of words, but it is _you_ who is wrong.”

The priest sighs. “We shall see.”

* * *

Eiji has been calling for Meri for seconds, minutes, _hours_ , yet the lady seems not to heed his responses, not appearing even when he has let out a dozen calls to her name. It is like she doesn’t seem to be particularly interested in him anymore; that she thinks he had left him to wait in this beautiful ecosystem for a few days, hoping that he will return the next day, when he does not. There is a lump in his throat, worried over Meri. Did she believe that he has abandoned her? Is she not here anymore, relocating to some other place?

“Meri! Meri, please, tell me where you are!”

Whilst he is desperately clawing at his throat to let out a few more anguished calls for his beloved, the priest hears suspicious laughter, softly echoing from the cave inside of Joren Falls, the sound of gushing water extinguishing it. He narrows his eyes, preparing a few spells to ward off the yokai.

“Meri, I did not mean to leave you to wait for me here! Blame the fickle-minded villagers who—” His grey eyes see something shoot towards him from the inside of Joren Falls’ cave; a spider web, strong and intricate, which is able to withstand the constant pouring of water. He is frozen in fear, confused. The priest lets out a few incantations under his breath prior to warding off the other spider webs aimed towards Eiji, for some reason.

A sound of someone writhing in pain echoes throughout the woods, and Eiji turns to the source; a silhouette of a young woman hidden in the darkness of the caves, yet her eyes glow a huge familiar green, full of ferocity and anger.

“You will not reach this man anymore”, the priest declares, blocking the yokai from Eiji, who is still confused— and in denial. “He is under my and Buddha’s protection now.”

There is an unholy laugh that reverberates throughout the clearing, the sound comparable to a tarantula hissing. “Say what you will, dear priest, but he is already caught in my web.” A familiar voice says, but it does not have the same warmth or sweetness it used to have anymore, replaced with a malicious hiss and coldness.

But the voice is still the same, inside of his heart.

Eiji’s grey eyes make out the shape of a woman— no, from the waist and up is the only thing that is the shape of a woman’s, but below her waist… is the torso of a spider’s.

The most horrifying thing about this is that her silhouette looks a lot like Meri’s.

He starts to tremble, shaking his head in denial.

_No._

_This cannot be._

“You still love me, do you not?” she asks with a mocking laugh, her question clearly directed at Eiji.

He takes a step closer to the basin that divides them both; the priest warns him to make no further movement, but his eyes are trained upon the woman he loves the most. “M-Meri?”

“You are quite attached to a name that I created myself”, she muses, her voice as rough as sand. “Like how you are fond of a woman who never existed in the first place.”

In a second, his heart shatters into pieces, and he refuses to pick it back up. The reason why he had ran away from the palace in the first place is to escape his brother and heal from the mental wounds that he had inflicted upon himself, so he can — slowly — pick up the shards his heart had been and better himself. And Meri had helped him, with that mischievous smirk and kind eyes, her ways of comforting him, her brash temper.

But she doesn’t even exist.

She is replaced by a yokai.

A _jorogumo._

“Did you ever love me, or was it just a scheme to eat my own energy?” Eiji asks, his voice merely a small croak from shouting over a name lost to the winds over and over again.

Yet he did not get a reply from the yokai, growing silent.

That answers everything, and even his unrequited feelings.

Even if she had been lying to him all this time… he is still in love with her.

An absurd thought crosses his mind.

_I want to marry her._

* * *

“Are you mad? Have you been hit in the head by the jorogumo repeatedly with a rock?” The tengu, a yokai, asks critically, shielding itself from the harsh and cold winds of the mountain that Eiji dared to climb.

“I am not mad, I am as serious as I can be”, he replies with a biting tone in his voice, shivering a little as snow falls onto his face. The cold doesn’t bother him, being told not to marry that beautiful woman is the one that is bothersome. He knows that he can be perfectly happy with her as his wife, yet the tengu stares at him like he is being delusional. “I wish to marry the jorogumo.”

“You have a death wish, young prince”, the yokai replies with a small sigh. “You have always been self-destructive, ever since you were a child.”

The hope in his eyes is dull; he is declining his request to marry the jorogumo, like how the priest had stared at him like he is a madman for still being in love with her.

“Are you saying you disagree in a marriage between a human and a yokai?”

“Prince Eiji, you will _never_ be happy with her as your wife. She will feed on you, forever and ever.”

He smiles, eyes as dull as the clouds above them. “If that is what makes her happy.”

The tengu shakes his head in remorse, “You are not in control of your emotions.”

“I am, but my heart is telling me to love her for eternity.”

“You are risking your life for her, a _yokai?_ ”

Eiji locks eyes with the tengu, a burning intensity in those stormy grey eyes of his. “You may believe that she is one of you, a yokai— but she’s always a woman to me.”

* * *

The sunset is still so beautiful as it falls over the Joren Falls, giving the clear blue waters the hue of orange and pink, the leaves on the trees falling slightly to the ground, signalling the end of summer and autumn befalling upon them. He dips a finger in the pool, appreciating its invigorating cold the water around here lets out. He did not care about the sunset, of how it will become evening sooner or later; he will not be coming back to the village this time, to listen to their earthly conversations and ignorant smiles, never understanding his inner struggles.

He has not been here for a long time; for a few years, perhaps. Yet he has lost count of the seasons that pass by his window as he busies himself with creating stories out of wood, mostly about the tale of a spider woman and a young man falling in love, their romance forbidden to the eyes of the outside world. He never went outside again, and if he does, he purposely averted his gaze from the woods, avoiding it like the plague.

After so many years, he’s decided to return to this cursed place, where he had found love and had his heart shattered again.

Eiji Imari is still in love with the jorogumo.

Eiji is here to finally make ends meet with Meri, who is a skeleton in his cupboard who he cannot wait to throw out into the world.

She is the one who made him trust no one, but… she is the only person whom he trusts with all of his heart.

May the kami bless him for what he is about to do.

“I apologize for disappearing, my love”, he says sweetly, taking a step into the cold waters. “I thought I can get over you as quickly as I have fallen for you, but it seems that I cannot.”

The water around him splashes lightly, as he wades through the cold waters as it slowly rises above him, higher and higher. Yet he pays no mind to it, a smile on his face. “I yearn for you so much, all those years I was away.” He starts to cry, drops of tears falling from his face and into the basin. “I am still in love with you, and I do not care if you are a yokai. I will be with you forever.”

Spiders hiss from the inside of the cave, and his smile grows wider. “Come take me away from this cursed place, away from my sadness and pain.”

Eiji’s tears have turned into torrential waterfalls, contaminating the freshwater around him with his warm and salty tears.

Green eyes glow in the darkness of the cave, and his eyes light up like he is purposefully struck with thunder.

Before he could process what is happening, he is wrapped in spider webs created by the woman he loves— yet he could not bring himself to scream in fear or horror when he realizes that he cannot move, paralyzed and dragged into the cave of the jorogumo without a fight. For others, this is hell, the fact that they are about to be eaten by a yokai, yet for him, this is the part where he rejoins his wife, the glory and the earth of his life, the one who will always be the sun that radiates warmth over his cheeks.

He passes through the Joren Waterfalls, still wearing that lovesick smile…

And was never seen again.

* * *

Japan opens his eyes as the rays of the morning sun hits his face.

Groaning, he tries to get up to prepare himself for the awful day. But he can’t, something binding him and his body. He starts to panic, thinking he is still stuck in those cursed spider webs; however, he realizes that he is in his futon, blankets tangled around his weightless body. Sighing in relief, he untangles himself from his blankets, already feeling the legendary neck pain workaholics or people with poor life choices feel when they think sleeping in futons is good for their head and neck.

The discontent is secondary to his priorities, however— he can only think about the weird dream he had, about him having a… spider woman kink.

(He didn’t know what else to call that.)

And why is _America_ in his dreams?

Has she been infiltrating his dreams with something? Did she learn witchcraft when she’s been in living hell for the past year? Or did she just get bored and wanted to mess with him in the worst way possible— like making him fall in love with someone like her? He shudders at the thought of actually _liking_ America— and he hates how his mind doesn’t seem to mind the concept of dating her.

It’s not that he doesn’t like her, she’s a good friend (well, as good as she can ever be, anyway) though sometimes he just doesn’t get that woman; she can be abrasive and aggressive with him — whenever he makes snarky remarks that poke fun of her personality — but other times she’s as nice and flustered as she can be whenever they’re around each other. Their relationship was that of close friends, and nothing else.

But he doesn’t dismiss the part of himself who wants to be something _more_ to her, more than a friend.

However, that woman is… exasperating to deal with sometimes.

Yet that is the reason why he has a sort of interest towards her.

(It’s too early to call it love.)

A loud yet melodious ringtone echoes throughout his room, and he instantly checks his phone for notifications; only to find that America (fondly nicknamed ‘ _Pinku no Meino_ ’) has called him in the last few hours _thirty-seven_ times.

With a sigh, he calls her back, with the old woman picking up the phone in a heartbeat.

“It’s about fucking time you answer my calls”, she says in that belligerent tone of hers, “The hell have you been? Jacking off to girls in school uniforms?”

“You _know_ I’m not interested in things like that”, he snaps, clearly having woken up and now dealing with her crap; why did he call her again? “Besides, I’m pretty sure that _you’re_ the one who does that.”

“The fuck did you just say about me?”

The young man smirks a little. "No, nothing."

He loves getting her riled up like that; it makes her even cuter than he would like to admit.

“Let’s cut to the chase”, he shuts down the impending rant she was about to have, “why did you call my number _thirty-seven times_?”

“Oh, that? That was ‘cause I had a really weird dream last night. Like, a really weird fucking dream. Like when you try steroids for the first time or some shi—”

“I get it”, he interrupts, “but why were you calling me?”

“‘Cause you were in my dreams.” Her voice is audibly softer than before, and he can understand where the elegance lies inside of her.

He almost drops his phone out of surprise, but he keeps a tight but trembling grip on it. “I was in _your_ dream? That’s a coincidence, since _you_ were in my dream last night.”

“Holy shit, really? My dream was where I’m a spider lady who literally catfished you. It was fucking wild, and I think I ate you one time.”

“W-Wait, I had the same dream last night too. And yes, I’m pretty sure you tangled me up your webs just so you could eat me. After catfishing me.”

“Wait, you and I have the same damn dream?! What do you think does it mean, then?”

“I don’t know, but...” He smiles a little, “Want to meet over a cup of coffee and talk about the meaning of our shared dreams together?”

It takes her a second to respond, which is so unlike America. “S-Sure, why the fuck not?”

He doesn’t comment about her hesitance, or the way her voice breaks.

He knows he can tease her about that when she comes here.

**Author's Note:**

> actual Ameripan going on a date WHEN???


End file.
